Noah's bullshit

written by Tomas M. 254 days ago

I'm sure you heard about the old testament's story regarding Noah: For some strange and masochistic reason, the God of the old testament decided that the man (who was created in His image) was not a good design at all, so the almighty came to a resolution that people are not worth a shit so it's time to KILL'EM ALL.

(You would be surprised to discover how much people actually believe that the story is literaly true.)

To accomplish that pleasant task but preserve all the other species, God selected Noah and told him to build an ark. The proportions of such ark are described in the holy bible as: 300 yards long, 50 yards wide, 30 yards high. I prefer the conevrsion to metric system: 275m*46m*28m.

If we wish to fill the ark by all known species, male and female ones, we'll end up with 2x 1 milion creatures = over 2 milions of animals.

Remember that it was Noahs job to find the animals and bring them to the ark himself, so if we just assume that it takes him one hour to seek for an animal and bring it into the ark, it would take him tens of thousands of years to accomplish his goal, not even mentioning that he had to bring in the food for all of them as well.

The Noah's story is simply a bullshit.
As well as the rest of the bible...

Tomas M.

User comments

[1] dimitrij wrote 254 days ago:

I think every story has some bullshit in it, otherwise it would be a (historical) fact. Do you read Dante word by word? The bible is just a tool (a very improved one!), it can do good or bad, as can atomic energy. You can fool people who like to be fooled with nearly everything, and thats about 90% of population and growing, who don't like to think for themselves. I think you still can get some good facts out of religions, and it sure helped to organize early (mesopotamian?-->) cultures when there was no formal control. As people tend to group, all religions are just a tool. You can't ignore the fact that they're one of the oldest parts of our culture, how you can say how the world would look like without them.
That said I'm a 100% atheist, thankful to my parents for leaving that option to me and I don't feel like to change that. But I'm asking myself some questions and I like to read about religions to see how people tried to answer the very same questions for some thousands of years. Sure you have to read that with your critical mind switched on. When I'm sometimes thinking about the universe I could go crazy if I don't imagine some type of god at the beginning, some energy to start with, that's part of all of the universe. We have black holes and energies today, also dark matter, they are some type of gods holding everything together. We can't see them, but we are giving them some properties and have to believe they are there so our mind-models hold true. Todays religions developed from believes in animals which had supernatural powers to explain the then unexplainable. Science today is not so different, we just learned to name it a theory, not a fact and that makes a big difference to how people absorb it, but science can still be used to do harm, it's just harder to convince others to do the same. For science to take over as a new "religion" it takes a lot of time, but its happening on some parts of the world.
I mostly resist to comment on religions and alike, but really like your blog and want to share my 2 cents. I don't want to step on anybodies foot, just wonder why you, open-minded as you seemingly are, piss on religions in general. If religions would disappear now, other things would group people and they would still find reasons to fight each other, I think to the point when some intruder comes from outside and we all have to be one group to survive :)
Evil can not invent, so the root of everything is good. For evil to take over, its enough for good to make nothing at some point in time.
As of Noah, its just a story how a man can select his and the future of other animals, going against all elements, making him something special (godlike) in that case. The sound of god to tell him so could be our inner will, which can do magic.

[2] Tomas M wrote 254 days ago:

You pointed very correctly that I am 'pissing on religions in general'. There are people who don't take the Noah's story as a tale. They take it literally. They believe it because they were told to believe. That is THE THING I have a problem with. In my opinion, people should NOT believe because they were told so. And that is the whole point of all religions - Religions claim that faith is a virtue. THAT IS WRONG.

[3] captain_picard wrote 254 days ago:

"There are people who don't take the Noah's story as a tale. They take it literally."

And whats more, some believe that Pi is not 3.14159... but 3 since it says so in the Bible. Don't get me started about what the Bible says about the Earth (that it's flat and not an oblate sphere as we know that it is).

[4] dimitrij wrote 253 days ago:

I agree with you in nearly all points. I just think it's down to an individual if you blindly believe something. Fact is most will rather believe than have a hard time to proof something for themselves. Where I came from, most teachers just smash something on the board and say learn that, there are few who really try to motivate you to explore something for yourself - and most think thats the best way. Thats no different from religions, I think most people are happy with that. If it's that that makes them better people, I don't have a problem with it. There is not an explorer in everyone of us. But I hate people who use religions (or any other tool) to manipulate other people. Maybe you're wright, if religions are defined just by blindly believing, I piss on them to, but still think they carry some useful stuff in them (at least for some of us).

captain:
I saw some scientist talking about the universe being totally flat, and there being 11 dimensions and such. I wonder how many who saw that believe it now :)

[5] SKEPTIC_SLAX_USER wrote 253 days ago:

NOAH

was it NOAH's BULLSHIt or GoDs BULLSHIT?

The animals could have been created again, but there we go again. Man sinned, Adam and Eve, God could have created other humans and killed them and move on, but no God needs an excuse to tell us that we could have had eternal life, but because of Adam and Eve's sin we can't live forever. He then sent Jesus Christ to pay for our sins, why we did not ask for it, why did he sent him if many do not believe in him. Was he the king of the JEWS? Can God or anybody else for tha matter bring peace to the Middle East? Can he bring together Christians, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, Mormons, Hindus, Mormons, ...., and share one commmon God like normal. Can he do all these things that are badly needed to save the planet? Stay tuned. Same Time, Same place, Same BAD CHANNEL.

[6] captain_picard wrote 252 days ago:

@dimitrij: Who said that there are 11 dimensions? Currently there are no, and I stress no, evidence that there are more than 4 dimensions (3 spatial+1 temporal). All this extra dimensions are only theories for the time being :)

Regarding the flatness, today I was at a talk by Adam Riess in Paris, who gave some new results (yet unpublished) that according to the latest data, the universe may deviate from being flat with a 1 sigma only, which is a great improvement of past results.

PS Riess is the guy who back in 1998 discovered the accelerated expansion of the Universe by using Supernovae data...

[7] Whoa wrote 249 days ago:

"The proportions of such ark are described in the holy bible as: 300 yards long, 50 yards wide, 30 yards high."

No they aren't. The holy bible described units that were used in holy times. In later times, after wholly inventing English and Times New Roman, holy units were translated into unholy yards.

"I prefer the conevrsion to metric system"

Because one metre is 1/10,000,000 of a proportion of the earth instead of heaven?

[8] forum wrote 249 days ago:

@Whoa

Tomas wrote:

it would take him tens of thousands of years to accomplish his goal, not even mentioning that he had to bring in the food for all of them as well.

The Noah's story is simply a bullshit.
As well as the rest of the bible...

Does he know that "a thousand years" is the same as one day for the Lord?
Does he know that for God, there is nothing impossible?
Except what those guys say about Amputees, Humans don't have regenerative powers like Starfish. Other than that, how can one explain here?

[9] Methinks wrote 238 days ago:

Let's not (again) resort to such an easy & misleading association & shortcut.

'Faith' is quite different from 'blind belief'.

When you love someone, you have faith in them even if you do not understand everything they do or say. Since you Tomas, mentioned a couple times about the love you are blessed with your wife & children, surely you can relate to that. I could easily imagine that they don't understand the ins & outs of say, the linux-live scripts for example, but they nonetheless have faith in you & your work.

The problem lays not with the object of your faith or blind belief rather than with the fact that what you entertain is faith or blind belief itself. 'Blind' is the word of essence here.

Someone who nourishes a blind faith in 'science' is as much a moron as one who nourishes a blind faith in 'religion'. Don't you think?

[10] nemo wrote 237 days ago:

Be glad he took the penguins...

The Bible is just a book of tales. Those people who believe every word in it are really mad. When we read about a man building an arch, we should think of species extinction, plague survivors, or white lions. We should compare our knowledge with these stories. We should use our imagiation to reveal the truth inside. Truth... How could creators of the Bible know about such things...?
Don't you ever bother to find out, and, whatever happens, do not ask Danniken!!!

I don't believe in any gods. You may find many reasons in human history why not to join any church. I would call myself 'pantheist', though not that rennaissance kind. Just to keep it simple: God is everywhere, God is everything. God is the universe or the nature. God is the E=mcc stuff. God is no God. Faith in God is no good. Faith is to decieve.

@AngryGod: there is no God. It is biologically imposible for divine being to have kids with a human. When God lies to you about his son, will you believe?

[11] Anti-NEMO wrote 237 days ago:

which arch was invented, x86_64, x86_32, i586, i386, i486?

Which arch are you talking about? The above archs are for computers and have nothing to do with Noah's ark.

So what if they are not tales, but true stories? You were not there to see if it were true. If you were, then you must be thousands of years old and to have never died, defied the laws that were broken when original man sinned.

Now The E=mc^{2} stuff was invented by a man, not God :>)

@AngryGod?

Where is he when you need him right now?

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[27] atheist987 wrote 172 days ago:

oh my god, are you serious???? thats bs god exists...!!! in people's heads!!!!!!

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